Amen or nah? 641 church culture debates, voted on by real churchgoers

Fog machines. Tithe kiosks. A pastor in $900 sneakers. Every hot take below has been put to Amen or Nah? players, who vote Amen, Fine, Side-eye or Nah. Open any one to see the live split, or play today's five.

Small stuff (129)

• Your church opens a full coffee bar in the lobby, with a barista: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches in sneakers: amen or nah?
• Kids' church runs entirely on Goldfish crackers and juice boxes: amen or nah?
• Someone wears shorts to Sunday service: amen or nah?
• Your church only sings hymns: amen or nah?
• Your church only sings songs released in the last five years: amen or nah?
• Your church rebrands from First Baptist to a one-word name like "Elevate": amen or nah?
• You watch church online in your pajamas: amen or nah?
• Someone raises both hands during every single song: amen or nah?
• The congregation claps on the wrong beat and nobody fixes it: amen or nah?
• The church bulletin has ads for a local car dealership: amen or nah?
• Your church takes its softball league way too seriously: amen or nah?
• Someone reads Scripture from their phone instead of a paper Bible: amen or nah?
• The church greeter hugs everyone: amen or nah?
• A member gets upset because someone sat in "their" pew: amen or nah?
• The whole church wears matching T-shirts on serve day: amen or nah?
• The weekly announcements are a produced video with a host and B-roll: amen or nah?
• Your church does baptisms in a horse trough in the parking lot: amen or nah?
• Someone only comes to church on Christmas and Easter: amen or nah?
• Someone falls asleep during the sermon: amen or nah?
• Someone chews gum during worship: amen or nah?
• Someone brings their dog to church: amen or nah?
• People bring their coffee into the sanctuary: amen or nah?
• A man keeps his baseball cap on during service: amen or nah?
• Youth group is mostly pizza and dodgeball: amen or nah?
• Two church ladies compete for best casserole at every potluck: amen or nah?
• Someone saves an entire row of seats with Bibles and purses: amen or nah?
• The front row stays empty until the pastor begs people to move up: amen or nah?
• Someone stands for the whole worship set while everyone else sits: amen or nah?
• Someone eats a breakfast burrito in the pew during announcements: amen or nah?
• The worship leader says "one more time" and it's four more times: amen or nah?
• Someone shouts "Preach!": amen or nah?
• Your church still puts the lyrics up on an overhead projector: amen or nah?
• The lyrics on the screen run one line behind the band: amen or nah?
• Your church passes a felt offering bag on a long wooden pole: amen or nah?
• The pastor's wife wears a church hat wider than the pulpit: amen or nah?
• Someone wears a three-piece suit to a jeans-and-flannel church: amen or nah?
• The worship leader wears a beanie indoors in July: amen or nah?
• Someone takes four donuts off the welcome table "for later": amen or nah?
• Every sermon has three points that all start with the same letter: amen or nah?
• Your pastor says "in closing" and preaches twenty more minutes: amen or nah?
• Kids' church sends every kid home with a craft that sheds glitter: amen or nah?
• The adults remember the children's sermon better than the real one: amen or nah?
• Only the kitchen committee is allowed to touch the church coffee maker: amen or nah?
• Someone brings one bag of chips to the potluck and leaves with three plates: amen or nah?
• Your pastor opens every sermon with a dad joke: amen or nah?
• Someone color-codes their Bible with six highlighters during the sermon: amen or nah?
• Someone answers the pastor's rhetorical question out loud: amen or nah?
• The pastor says "I said amen!": amen or nah?
• Parking volunteers in orange vests wave you into a spot like it's an airport: amen or nah?
• Someone parks in the first-time guest spot after nine years at the church: amen or nah?
• Someone sings loud harmony on every song, even ones that don't have one: amen or nah?
• Communion comes in tiny plastic cups with a peel-off wafer on top: amen or nah?
• The kids drink the leftover communion juice after service: amen or nah?
• The Christmas pageant uses a real newborn as baby Jesus: amen or nah?
• Your family takes matching-outfit photos in front of the church on Easter: amen or nah?
• Service starts at 10 and the room finally fills up at 10:20: amen or nah?
• The special music is a solo sung over a karaoke backing track: amen or nah?
• The organist sneaks a little jazz into every hymn: amen or nah?
• The church Facebook page runs on clip art and Comic Sans: amen or nah?
• The church sign out front has a new pun every single week: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches in a Hawaiian shirt every Sunday all summer: amen or nah?
• Someone wears sunglasses through the entire service, indoors: amen or nah?
• Someone's phone rings during prayer, and the ringtone is a worship song: amen or nah?
• Your pastor leaves the stage and preaches from the middle aisle: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches sitting on a barstool with a coffee mug: amen or nah?
• The nursery hands parents a buzzing pager in case the baby melts down: amen or nah?
• Your Sunday school class has been on the same book for three years: amen or nah?
• Someone puts their name on every sign-up sheet in the lobby: amen or nah?
• Someone brings store-bought cookies to the bake sale, still in the tray: amen or nah?
• Church camp gives a trophy to the cleanest cabin, and the kids go to war: amen or nah?
• Youth group still plays Chubby Bunny with marshmallows: amen or nah?
• Wednesday night supper is spaghetti every single week: amen or nah?
• The whole church sings Happy Birthday to everyone born that week: amen or nah?
• Someone wears a T-shirt that turns a soda logo into a Bible verse: amen or nah?
• The sanctuary is kept at 64 degrees all year: amen or nah?
• One lady plays the tambourine on every song, including the slow ones: amen or nah?
• The keyboard plays soft background music under every single prayer: amen or nah?
• The pastor's kids run the lobby like they own the building: amen or nah?
• A kid lighting the Advent candles nearly sets the wreath on fire: amen or nah?
• Parents get way too competitive at the church Easter egg hunt: amen or nah?
• Someone mouths the words to every song instead of singing: amen or nah?
• The visitor at Mass stands and kneels one beat behind everyone: amen or nah?
• Someone takes the aisle seat and refuses to scoot in: amen or nah?
• Everyone cools off with cardboard fans from the local funeral home: amen or nah?
• The church bathroom has a framed Bible verse above the toilet: amen or nah?
• Someone claps after the choir special, and nobody else does: amen or nah?
• Half the room says "debts" and the other half says "trespasses": amen or nah?
• Someone whispers to their friend through the entire sermon: amen or nah?
• Someone fills in the sermon note blanks before the pastor reveals them: amen or nah?
• An old man in the hallway hands every kid a piece of candy: amen or nah?
• The baptistry water is freezing, and the pastor knows it: amen or nah?
• The youth pastor sits in a dunk tank at the fall festival: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's sermon illustration is about his fishing trip: amen or nah?
• Your pastor brings a prop on stage for every single sermon: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches with a headset mic like a pop star: amen or nah?
• The stage is decorated with Edison bulbs and wooden pallets: amen or nah?
• Everyone who gets baptized gets a free T-shirt: amen or nah?
• The pastor tells you to turn to your neighbor and repeat after him: amen or nah?
• The praise break goes fifteen minutes and nobody checks the clock: amen or nah?
• The organist hits a chord every time the pastor makes a point: amen or nah?
• Kids turn the Palm Sunday branches into swords: amen or nah?
• Someone tells everyone exactly what they gave up for Lent: amen or nah?
• Passing of the peace takes ten minutes because everyone's catching up: amen or nah?
• The choir marches in from the back, swaying, before every service: amen or nah?
• Sunday night service is the same twelve people every week: amen or nah?
• Parish bingo night is more crowded than Sunday Mass: amen or nah?
• The Friday fish fry in the parish hall has a 45-minute line: amen or nah?
• Someone brings a snake to the parish blessing of the pets: amen or nah?
• Everyone races out of the parking lot after Mass like it's a speedway: amen or nah?
• Your church has 22 members and half of them are related: amen or nah?
• The pianist is 91 and nobody is allowed to replace her: amen or nah?
• Someone watches the church livestream at 1.5x speed: amen or nah?
• College worship night is one acoustic guitar and a lot of fairy lights: amen or nah?
• The sermon slides have spinning transitions and sound effects: amen or nah?
• Your pastor drops a Greek word into every single sermon: amen or nah?
• The pastor's jokes are noticeably better by the third service: amen or nah?
• Your pastor loses a football bet and preaches in the rival team's jersey: amen or nah?
• Baby dedication Sunday puts twelve crying babies on one stage: amen or nah?
• Your church meets in a movie theater with sticky floors: amen or nah?
• Your church meets in a school gym, unloaded from trailers every week: amen or nah?
• The church directory photographer upsells you a $200 portrait package: amen or nah?
• The church ladies show up with a ham before the funeral home calls: amen or nah?
• The prayer chain calls you at 6 a.m: amen or nah?
• The potluck assigns dishes by last name: A to M brings dessert: amen or nah?
• Adults do the full hand motions to the kids' worship song: amen or nah?
• Your church builds a float for the Christmas parade with a live band on it: amen or nah?
• The Easter sunrise service starts at 6 a.m: amen or nah?
• Someone carries their Bible in a quilted cover with a zipper and handles: amen or nah?

Sunday production (129)

• Your church uses a fog machine during worship: amen or nah?
• The worship set has a full concert light show: amen or nah?
• There's a giant countdown clock on the screen before service starts: amen or nah?
• Your church lets you tithe with Apple Pay at a lobby kiosk: amen or nah?
• Your pastor launches a podcast and promotes it from the pulpit: amen or nah?
• Your pastor posts gym selfies on Instagram: amen or nah?
• The sermon series is themed after a Marvel movie: amen or nah?
• The worship band opens with a cover of a pop song: amen or nah?
• Your church sells branded hoodies in the lobby: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches in skinny jeans and a leather jacket: amen or nah?
• Someone switches churches every single year: amen or nah?
• Someone leaves during the closing song to catch kickoff: amen or nah?
• Someone scrolls Instagram during the sermon: amen or nah?
• The youth pastor has full sleeve tattoos: amen or nah?
• Your pastor says "damn" in a sermon to make a point: amen or nah?
• There's beer at the men's ministry barbecue: amen or nah?
• Your church hosts a trunk-or-treat on Halloween: amen or nah?
• Someone shares gossip as a "prayer request": amen or nah?
• The worship leader does a three-minute vocal run nobody can sing along to: amen or nah?
• Your pastor has a reserved parking spot right by the door: amen or nah?
• First-time visitors get a gift bag and a shoutout from the stage: amen or nah?
• The sermon runs 70 minutes: amen or nah?
• A kid watches YouTube on an iPad with the volume up during service: amen or nah?
• Someone joins the young adults group mainly to find a spouse: amen or nah?
• Your church plays Top 40 music in the lobby before service: amen or nah?
• The worship team only hangs out with the worship team: amen or nah?
• Your church starts calling the sanctuary "the auditorium": amen or nah?
• Your church shows the Super Bowl on the sanctuary screen: amen or nah?
• Your church launches an app with chat, giving and a store: amen or nah?
• Your church replaces the paper bulletin with a QR code on the screen: amen or nah?
• The announcements run fifteen minutes and include a skit: amen or nah?
• The worship leader never once opens their eyes to look at the crowd: amen or nah?
• The worship leader gives a mini-sermon between every song: amen or nah?
• The worship band rotates the same six songs all year: amen or nah?
• The worship leader picks a key only tenors can reach: amen or nah?
• The drummer plays inside a plexiglass box: amen or nah?
• The worship team gets a color palette to dress in every Sunday: amen or nah?
• The new sermon series gets a movie-style trailer: amen or nah?
• First-time guests get a private lounge with snacks and a host: amen or nah?
• Small group is 45 minutes of snacks and 5 minutes of study: amen or nah?
• One person in small group answers every single question: amen or nah?
• The small group leader asks a question and nobody talks for a full minute: amen or nah?
• Prayer requests at small group take longer than the actual study: amen or nah?
• Your small group starts with an icebreaker game every single week: amen or nah?
• Your small group host makes everyone take their shoes off: amen or nah?
• Deacons are still required to wear a suit and tie: amen or nah?
• Your church bans shorts on stage for the worship team: amen or nah?
• Your church has an unwritten rule: no jeans in the sanctuary: amen or nah?
• Your church's Instagram posts memes about last week's sermon: amen or nah?
• The livestream chat is five people typing where they're watching from: amen or nah?
• The camera crew puts people crying during worship on the big screen: amen or nah?
• Your church's new stage design doesn't have a cross on it: amen or nah?
• Your church renames kids' church to something like "Adventure Island": amen or nah?
• Nobody says "Pastor" at your church: amen or nah?
• The ushers wear earpieces like the Secret Service: amen or nah?
• Your pastor ends the sermon on a cliffhanger: "Find out next week": amen or nah?
• Your church stops passing the plate and puts a box in the back: amen or nah?
• The church bookstore sells $38 candles and matching journals: amen or nah?
• The worship leader says "come on" after every single line: amen or nah?
• The worship leader says "this isn't a concert" under concert lighting: amen or nah?
• The worship set runs 20 extra minutes on a spontaneous song: amen or nah?
• The youth pastor promises to shave his head if attendance hits 100: amen or nah?
• Church camp takes everyone's phones for the entire week: amen or nah?
• The new pastor stops wearing the robe and preaches in a polo: amen or nah?
• The church wedding reception is punch, mints and no dancing: amen or nah?
• The church wedding coordinator has a rule for everything, even the candles: amen or nah?
• The funeral sermon is clearly a template with the name swapped in: amen or nah?
• The Christmas program is a full Broadway-style musical with rented costumes: amen or nah?
• Your church cancels service when Christmas falls on a Sunday: amen or nah?
• Your church rents a football stadium for Easter: amen or nah?
• Members get asked to park off-site on Easter so visitors get the spots: amen or nah?
• Wednesday night Bible study moved to Zoom and never came back: amen or nah?
• Your pastor stops mid-sermon to wave at everyone watching online: amen or nah?
• Someone from church drops off a pie at your house after your first visit: amen or nah?
• Golf carts shuttle people from the far parking lot to the front door: amen or nah?
• Your church has a "Pastor of Guest Experience" on staff: amen or nah?
• Kids' church is just a cartoon Bible video on a projector: amen or nah?
• The youth room has arcade games, a pool table and a snack bar: amen or nah?
• The pastor's wife sings lead on every single song: amen or nah?
• The sound booth cranks the bass until the pews rattle: amen or nah?
• Your church keeps a basket of free earplugs by the sanctuary doors: amen or nah?
• Someone marches to the sound booth every week to complain about the volume: amen or nah?
• Someone waves worship flags in the aisle during every song: amen or nah?
• The youth mime ministry performs during Sunday service: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches the whole sermon dressed as Moses: amen or nah?
• Your pastor rides a motorcycle onto the stage to kick off a series: amen or nah?
• The building fund thermometer has been stuck at 60% for four years: amen or nah?
• The men's retreat is axe throwing, steak and a talk about grilling: amen or nah?
• Testimony time runs 30 minutes because one man won't give back the mic: amen or nah?
• Your pastor plays a five-minute movie clip in the middle of the sermon: amen or nah?
• The youth pastor adds a rap verse to the closing worship song: amen or nah?
• The congregation gives the pastor a standing ovation after the sermon: amen or nah?
• Your small group assigns homework from a workbook: amen or nah?
• One couple in your small group has never once hosted: amen or nah?
• Your church makes your small group split in two once it gets too big: amen or nah?
• Someone posts a selfie with their ashes on Ash Wednesday: amen or nah?
• Your church hands out glow sticks instead of candles on Christmas Eve: amen or nah?
• The same soprano gets every choir solo, every year: amen or nah?
• The giving app asks if you'd like to cover the 3% card fee: amen or nah?
• The church coffee bar charges $5 for a latte: amen or nah?
• Your pastor reads the sermon off a teleprompter: amen or nah?
• A camera crane swoops over the crowd for the livestream: amen or nah?
• You go to Saturday night service so you can sleep in on Sunday: amen or nah?
• There's a food truck in the church parking lot every Sunday: amen or nah?
• Someone skips the worship set and jumps straight to the sermon online: amen or nah?
• Volunteer lanyards are color-coded, and everyone knows which color outranks you: amen or nah?
• Kids get a bingo card of words to listen for during the sermon: amen or nah?
• The best seats in the room have "Reserved for Guests" signs on them: amen or nah?
• The pastor says put your phones away, then says open the church app: amen or nah?
• You can text the pastor questions during the sermon, and he answers live: amen or nah?
• The lobby has a neon sign of the church's name just for selfies: amen or nah?
• Your small group takes the whole summer off: amen or nah?
• Your church rebuilds the room so the stage sits in the middle: amen or nah?
• Your church turns off every house light during worship: amen or nah?
• The band cuts out so the worship leader can hear just the crowd sing: amen or nah?
• Halfway through the sermon, the pastor makes everyone stand and stretch: amen or nah?
• Fake snow falls on the crowd at the end of the Christmas Eve service: amen or nah?
• Youth group worship night has a DJ instead of a band: amen or nah?
• Picking your kid up from kids' church requires a fingerprint scan: amen or nah?
• The small group text thread sends 90 messages a day, mostly GIFs: amen or nah?
• The church Bible reading plan has a public leaderboard: amen or nah?
• Your church streams the sermon on TVs in the restrooms: amen or nah?
• You get sent to the overflow room to watch on a TV down the hall: amen or nah?
• Communion is a self-serve table you walk up to whenever you want: amen or nah?
• The sermon series on dating is called "Swipe Right": amen or nah?
• The church choir does a Christmas flash mob at the mall: amen or nah?
• Your church sends teams door to door on Saturday mornings with flyers: amen or nah?
• The volunteer of the month gets a framed photo in the lobby: amen or nah?
• The screen introduces the worship team by name like a concert lineup: amen or nah?

Side-eye (127)

• Your pastor wears $900 sneakers to preach: amen or nah?
• Your pastor drives a $90,000 truck: amen or nah?
• Your pastor uses ChatGPT to write the sermon: amen or nah?
• Your pastor does TikTok dances to reach the youth: amen or nah?
• Your worship leader has 200K followers and acts like it: amen or nah?
• Your church texts you a reminder when you miss a tithe: amen or nah?
• The offering plate gets passed twice in one service: amen or nah?
• The church nearly splits over the color of the new carpet: amen or nah?
• Your pastor orders wine at dinner with church members: amen or nah?
• The church pays for the pastor's family vacation to Hawaii: amen or nah?
• Your pastor says giving more will bring you a financial blessing: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches another pastor's sermon word for word: amen or nah?
• Two worship team members are dating and harmonize a little too intensely: amen or nah?
• The 40-year-old youth pastor uses Gen Z slang in every sentence: amen or nah?
• Your church's Easter service has pyrotechnics: amen or nah?
• Baptisms get filmed and posted as Instagram Reels: amen or nah?
• Someone gets a Bible verse tattooed on their forearm: amen or nah?
• Your church builds a full gym with a rock-climbing wall: amen or nah?
• Your pastor asks the whole church to buy their new book: amen or nah?
• Your pastor mentions their book sales in every sermon: amen or nah?
• Big donors get reserved seats up front: amen or nah?
• Your church flies in a celebrity to give their testimony: amen or nah?
• Small group turns into a gossip session about other members: amen or nah?
• Someone leaves right after communion every single week: amen or nah?
• Your pastor talks about elections from the pulpit: amen or nah?
• The church retires the choir and replaces it with a five-person band: amen or nah?
• Your church sells the pipe organ to pay for a new sound system: amen or nah?
• The 11:00 Mass is a folk guitar circle with two tambourines: amen or nah?
• The pastor skips the sermon for 90 straight minutes of worship: amen or nah?
• A giving QR code stays on the screen for the entire sermon: amen or nah?
• Before anyone leaves, the pastor asks them to set up recurring giving: amen or nah?
• Every member gets a three-year building pledge card to sign: amen or nah?
• Engraved bricks for the new church walkway cost $250 each: amen or nah?
• The guest preacher gets a "love offering" on top of his speaking fee: amen or nah?
• Your church offers a 90-day tithe challenge with a money-back guarantee: amen or nah?
• Your pastor takes a three-month paid sabbatical: amen or nah?
• The pastor's wife has a title, a reserved seat and her own assistant: amen or nah?
• An armor bearer carries the pastor's Bible, water and towel: amen or nah?
• Elders serve for life, and the youngest one is 71: amen or nah?
• One founding family still quietly decides everything at the church: amen or nah?
• The congregation votes on a new pastor after hearing one trial sermon: amen or nah?
• The church holds a members' vote on whether drums are allowed: amen or nah?
• In month one, the new pastor changes the service time, logo and band: amen or nah?
• The new youth wing is named after the family who paid for it: amen or nah?
• Joining the church requires a sit-down interview with two elders: amen or nah?
• Anyone who hasn't attended in a year gets dropped from membership: amen or nah?
• Kids under 12 aren't allowed in the main service: amen or nah?
• An usher asks a mom to take her crying baby out of the service: amen or nah?
• The church choir starts requiring auditions: amen or nah?
• Your pastor name-drops the celebrity he had lunch with this week: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's face is on a billboard on the highway: amen or nah?
• People line up after service to take selfies with the pastor: amen or nah?
• Your church drops 50,000 Easter eggs from a helicopter: amen or nah?
• First-time visitors get a $25 gas card just for showing up: amen or nah?
• Your church opens a fourth campus 12 minutes from the third: amen or nah?
• A megachurch absorbs the dying church down the road and rebrands it: amen or nah?
• Your church hires secret shoppers to grade the greeters: amen or nah?
• The preacher gives an altar call at a funeral: amen or nah?
• The church bans secular songs from weddings in the sanctuary: amen or nah?
• The pastor won't marry you without eight weeks of premarital counseling: amen or nah?
• Church camp makes girls swim in T-shirts over their suits: amen or nah?
• The last night of camp is designed to make every teen cry: amen or nah?
• Your church spends $15,000 on VBS sets to beat the Methodists: amen or nah?
• You're not "really" a member unless you're in a small group: amen or nah?
• Women still get side-eye for wearing pants on Sunday morning: amen or nah?
• The parish won't let you be a godparent unless you're registered there: amen or nah?
• The church potluck starts charging $8 a plate: amen or nah?
• The hymn board up front still lists last week's attendance and offering: amen or nah?
• Visitors have to stand and introduce themselves to the whole church: amen or nah?
• The elders put a 25-minute limit on the sermon: amen or nah?
• The worship leader makes more than the senior pastor: amen or nah?
• The altar call song repeats for 20 minutes until someone walks forward: amen or nah?
• VBS runs a boys-versus-girls offering race with a pie in the face: amen or nah?
• Your pastor uses his teenagers as sermon illustrations every week: amen or nah?
• Your pastor calls his wife "smokin' hot" in every single sermon: amen or nah?
• Your pastor gets "called" to a bigger church with a bigger salary: amen or nah?
• The pastor names his son as the next senior pastor: amen or nah?
• The worship leader's mic runs through Auto-Tune: amen or nah?
• Your pastor walks out to his own entrance music every Sunday: amen or nah?
• You need an online reservation to get a seat on Easter: amen or nah?
• Every summer's mission team repaints the same wall in the same village: amen or nah?
• Parents pay $40 for photos of their baby's dedication: amen or nah?
• The women's retreat costs $600 and includes a spa day: amen or nah?
• Half the deacons threaten to leave when the new pastor grows a beard: amen or nah?
• The church sign out front roasts the other churches in town: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's sermon clips use a skin-smoothing filter: amen or nah?
• The pastor's daughter plays Mary in the pageant for the fourth year straight: amen or nah?
• The pastor and staff always go first in the potluck line: amen or nah?
• Your church offers drive-thru ashes on Ash Wednesday: amen or nah?
• You pick your Mass time by which priest gives the shortest homily: amen or nah?
• The college ministry leans hard into its "ring by spring" reputation: amen or nah?
• Kids earn points for memorizing verses and spend them at a toy store: amen or nah?
• Your church builds a $30,000 stage set for every sermon series: amen or nah?
• The church website is full of stock photos of people who don't attend: amen or nah?
• Asking the church for rent help means a budget review with a deacon: amen or nah?
• Your pastor brags that he never prepares a sermon and just lets it flow: amen or nah?
• The church pumps its own signature scent into the lobby: amen or nah?
• Your new church won't take you without a letter from your old one: amen or nah?
• Your pastor asks everyone to leave the church a five-star Google review: amen or nah?
• An usher holds the plate in front of you until you put something in: amen or nah?
• The singles ministry ages you out at 35: amen or nah?
• Your church pays a consultant $80,000 for a new logo and font: amen or nah?
• Your pastor picks sermon topics based on what got views on YouTube: amen or nah?
• Members can only reach the pastor by booking time with his assistant: amen or nah?
• Your pastor is off preaching at other churches two Sundays a month: amen or nah?
• The building campaign video has slow piano and a tearful grandma: amen or nah?
• The sermon's YouTube thumbnail has the pastor making a shocked face: amen or nah?
• The pastor's whole family walks on stage to wave at the end of service: amen or nah?
• Your church puts out its worship songs on its own record label: amen or nah?
• The Christmas Eve service is pre-recorded and played as if it's live: amen or nah?
• Staff have to call him "Pastor" even at the grocery store: amen or nah?
• Your church runs paid Instagram ads of the pastor's sermon clips: amen or nah?
• The church has a four-step "growth track" with a lanyard at each step: amen or nah?
• Your church hires a full-time pastor just for the online campus: amen or nah?
• Your pastor posts his first-class upgrade on the way to a conference: amen or nah?
• The pastor's family vacation becomes a three-part sermon series: amen or nah?
• Miss church for three months and an elder shows up at your door: amen or nah?
• The deacons vote on the pastor's raise while he waits in the hallway: amen or nah?
• The church starts its own school and pushes members to enroll: amen or nah?
• Your church asks members to give their tax refund to the building fund: amen or nah?
• Youth group auctions off its teens for a Saturday of yard work: amen or nah?
• The pastor uses your wedding to pitch the church to your guests: amen or nah?
• Your church hires a social media manager before a youth pastor: amen or nah?
• Your pastor shows his tax return to the church to prove he's not rich: amen or nah?
• Your church posts its full budget online, salaries and all: amen or nah?
• The college ministry asks freshmen to sign a no-dating pledge for a semester: amen or nah?
• The sermon series comes from a website that sold it to 500 other churches: amen or nah?

Elders' meeting (127)

• Your church buys the pastor a luxury SUV with offering money: amen or nah?
• Your church raises money for the pastor's private jet: amen or nah?
• Your pastor lives in a $4 million house paid for by the church: amen or nah?
• Your church checks your giving record before letting you serve: amen or nah?
• Your pastor walks the church lobby with a personal security detail: amen or nah?
• Your pastor has a green room with a celebrity-style snack rider: amen or nah?
• Your pastor calls people out by name for missing church: amen or nah?
• Church staff have to sign NDAs: amen or nah?
• Your pastor blocks members who disagree with them on social media: amen or nah?
• Your church pays professional musicians who don't attend the church: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's family stars in a reality TV show: amen or nah?
• The sermon includes a paid sponsor read: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's Sunday outfit costs more than your car: amen or nah?
• Someone recruits for their MLM at small group: amen or nah?
• Your church takes out a $20 million loan for a new campus: amen or nah?
• A leader shares a confidential prayer request with their spouse: amen or nah?
• Your church asks someone to leave Bible study for asking tough questions: amen or nah?
• Church staff are expected to work 60 hours a week "for the Kingdom": amen or nah?
• Your church won't tell members what the pastor is paid: amen or nah?
• Your church shows a leaderboard of its top donors: amen or nah?
• Membership requires volunteering every single week: amen or nah?
• Your worship leader charges $60 a ticket for a "worship night": amen or nah?
• Your pastor hires all three of their kids as church staff: amen or nah?
• The church app tracks attendance and sends a push notification when you miss: amen or nah?
• Your pastor asks the church to fund their wedding on GoFundMe: amen or nah?
• Your pastor re-baptizes an influencer on camera for the views: amen or nah?
• Your church asks for a full week's pay as a January "first fruits" gift: amen or nah?
• Your church gives away a car at Easter to fill the seats: amen or nah?
• The church pays for the pastor's country club membership: amen or nah?
• Your pastor flies in Saturday night and lives three states away: amen or nah?
• The church Instagram only features its most attractive members: amen or nah?
• Top givers get a yearly steak dinner at the pastor's house: amen or nah?
• Your pastor jokes that non-tithers should sit in the back: amen or nah?
• The pastor won't end service until the offering hits its goal: amen or nah?
• Everyone giving $1,000 is asked to stand up and walk forward first: amen or nah?
• The guest preacher asks for a $91 seed offering for Psalm 91: amen or nah?
• Monday's post from your pastor is a sponsored energy drink ad: amen or nah?
• Your pastor drops a limited-edition sneaker collab: amen or nah?
• From the pulpit, your pastor announces a couple's divorce: amen or nah?
• Mid-sermon, your pastor jokes about a member's weight: amen or nah?
• You can't leave the church without an exit meeting with an elder: amen or nah?
• New members sign a pledge not to criticize leadership online: amen or nah?
• A staffer learns they're fired when the church account unfollows them: amen or nah?
• Staff need the pastor's approval before dating anyone: amen or nah?
• Worship team spots go to whoever looks "stage-ready": amen or nah?
• Your pastor enters through a private hallway so nobody can stop him: amen or nah?
• A velvet rope separates the stage from the congregation: amen or nah?
• Full sermons are only available on the church's paid app: amen or nah?
• The livestream plays a 30-second ad before worship starts: amen or nah?
• The giving app tracks your giving streak like Duolingo: amen or nah?
• Your church hands out forms for leaving your house to the church in your will: amen or nah?
• An elder calls because you're behind on your building pledge: amen or nah?
• The church brings a film crew on the mission trip for a promo video: amen or nah?
• The pastor plugs the building campaign at a funeral: amen or nah?
• Your church's Halloween "hell house" has a chainsaw and an altar call: amen or nah?
• Youth camp pushes teens to confess their worst secrets on stage: amen or nah?
• Small group makes everyone install an app that shares their screen time: amen or nah?
• Your pastor reads anonymous complaint cards aloud and mocks them: amen or nah?
• Your church warns other churches not to hire a staffer who quit: amen or nah?
• Every elder on the board is one of the pastor's golf buddies: amen or nah?
• Pastor's birthday is coming, so he reads his wish list from the pulpit: amen or nah?
• Your pastor films himself praying over a homeless man for Instagram: amen or nah?
• Your pastor updates his title from Pastor to Apostle on the website: amen or nah?
• The pastor's consecration as bishop is a $150-a-plate black-tie gala: amen or nah?
• The church renames itself after the pastor: amen or nah?
• The church sells T-shirts with the pastor's face on them: amen or nah?
• Volunteers park a mile away so big donors can park by the door: amen or nah?
• A member's name is read aloud for church discipline at a business meeting: amen or nah?
• A one-star Google review gets a full rebuttal from the pulpit: amen or nah?
• Everyone who tithes this month gets entered to win a TV: amen or nah?
• Staff get bonuses when the offering beats its monthly goal: amen or nah?
• The pastor's salary is tied to weekly attendance numbers: amen or nah?
• Your church charges members $120 an hour for pastoral counseling: amen or nah?
• The pastor only makes hospital visits for the big givers: amen or nah?
• Staff are required to like and share every church Instagram post: amen or nah?
• A new church plant recruits members right out of your church lobby: amen or nah?
• A deacon gets removed after questioning the budget at a meeting: amen or nah?
• Security removes a homeless man for sleeping in the back pew: amen or nah?
• Small group leaders are told not to visit other churches: amen or nah?
• The sermon stops so the pastor can call out a family walking in late: amen or nah?
• Your pastor calls everyone who doesn't volunteer "consumers": amen or nah?
• Kids get their own building pledge cards in Sunday school: amen or nah?
• Older members get nudged to the 8 a.m: amen or nah?
• Your church picks new campus sites by median household income: amen or nah?
• Your pastor sells his sermon outlines to other pastors for $29 a month: amen or nah?
• Between points, your pastor plugs his real estate business: amen or nah?
• Prayer requests get read on the livestream with full names: amen or nah?
• The preacher has people lay car keys on the altar to claim new cars: amen or nah?
• Your church cuts missionary support to pay for a new lobby: amen or nah?
• The food pantry makes people sit through a sermon before groceries: amen or nah?
• The livestream adds crowd noise so the room sounds fuller: amen or nah?
• The church photographer mostly shoots the pastor's family: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's marriage series gets very, very specific about the bedroom: amen or nah?
• The sermon notes include your pastor's Amazon affiliate links: amen or nah?
• Big donors get to skip ahead in the prayer line: amen or nah?
• Your year-end giving statement notes how far below 10% you landed: amen or nah?
• Attendance drops and your pastor preaches that it's the members' fault: amen or nah?
• The new pastor fires the entire staff in his first month: amen or nah?
• Your pastor rushes 40 new members in so they can vote his way: amen or nah?
• A big donor gets made a deacon a month after joining: amen or nah?
• Your pastor starts a public online beef with another pastor: amen or nah?
• The livestream turns on Super Chat tips during the sermon: amen or nah?
• The church app pings your phone for an offering in the middle of the sermon: amen or nah?
• The pastor says the air conditioning depends on today's offering: amen or nah?
• The offering video shows hungry kids, then asks for a new gym: amen or nah?
• The pastor's hairstylist gets hired as the church's creative director: amen or nah?
• Staff are expected to stand when the pastor walks into the room: amen or nah?
• The first lady's lipstick line gets its own table in the lobby: amen or nah?
• Your pastor suggests singles are still single because they don't tithe: amen or nah?
• Only the top givers get the pastor's personal cell number: amen or nah?
• Staff have to sit through all four services every Sunday: amen or nah?
• Your church pays local influencers to post about Sunday service: amen or nah?
• Your pastor won't preach without his own makeup artist: amen or nah?
• Membership requires listing every church you've left, and why: amen or nah?
• The pastor's wife sits in on every elder meeting with veto power: amen or nah?
• The worship leader gets let go for having more followers than the pastor: amen or nah?
• Your church asks a few members to co-sign the pastor's home loan: amen or nah?
• The giving page shows how much your neighborhood gave compared to others: amen or nah?
• A church "giving coach" goes through your budget to find room for more: amen or nah?
• The youth pastor ranks students' spiritual growth on a whiteboard: amen or nah?
• Teens can't go on the ski trip unless they bring a friend to youth group: amen or nah?
• The church sells a premium funeral package with the choir and senior pastor: amen or nah?
• A famous athlete gets baptized first while 12 kids wait their turn: amen or nah?
• Small groups get sorted by income so everyone "feels comfortable": amen or nah?
• The parish school gives tuition discounts to families who tithe more: amen or nah?
• The church moves the AA group out of the basement to build a podcast studio: amen or nah?
• The after-church lunch crowd leaves a gospel tract instead of a tip: amen or nah?

Church scandal (129)

• Your pastor has an affair with a staff member and keeps preaching: amen or nah?
• The church treasurer quietly "borrows" from the offering: amen or nah?
• Your church stages a miracle healing on stage: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's "Dr": amen or nah?
• Your church moves food pantry donations into the building fund: amen or nah?
• Your church sues a former member for criticizing it online: amen or nah?
• Your pastor tells struggling families to tithe before paying rent: amen or nah?
• Your pastor posts a new Lamborghini and calls it "a blessing": amen or nah?
• Your church inflates attendance numbers in its annual report: amen or nah?
• Your church charges $50 for a personal prayer from the pastor: amen or nah?
• Your church sells "miracle" anointing oil for $100 a bottle: amen or nah?
• Your pastor launches a church crypto coin: amen or nah?
• The pastor takes church money on a trip to Vegas: amen or nah?
• Your church tells members to cut off a family who left: amen or nah?
• Your church buys the pastor a yacht for "ministry retreats": amen or nah?
• The donor-funded mission trip is mostly a beach vacation: amen or nah?
• Your pastor personally keeps the profits from church merch: amen or nah?
• Your church says it will close unless you give today: amen or nah?
• A member raises missionary support for a mission that never happens: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's famous sermons were secretly written by a staffer who gets no credit: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's dramatic conversion story turns out to be made up: amen or nah?
• Your church asks members for their tax returns to verify their tithe: amen or nah?
• Your pastor takes a raise during a church budget crisis: amen or nah?
• Your church hires someone to unmask an anonymous critic online: amen or nah?
• Your church has collected for the building fund for 15 years: amen or nah?
• The love offering for the guest preacher goes straight to the host pastor: amen or nah?
• The church giving app quietly turns your one-time gift into a monthly one: amen or nah?
• A TV preacher tells viewers to put their seed offering on a credit card: amen or nah?
• The church van fund buys the pastor's son a Mustang: amen or nah?
• Every ministry has to raise $5,000 for the pastor's anniversary: amen or nah?
• Your church bills a grieving family for the fellowship hall after the funeral: amen or nah?
• The bishop takes a cut of every offering in the network and owns four Bentleys: amen or nah?
• The first lady draws a six-figure church salary for a job nobody can name: amen or nah?
• Your pastor bills the church a speaking fee to preach at its own revival: amen or nah?
• The church buys 20,000 copies of the pastor's book to make the bestseller list: amen or nah?
• Your pastor buys 300,000 Instagram followers right before the book launch: amen or nah?
• The livestream counts anyone who watches for 30 seconds as a salvation: amen or nah?
• Your pastor claims to have planted 40 churches: amen or nah?
• The worship team lip-syncs on Sunday and sells it as a "live album": amen or nah?
• The Christmas toy drive leftovers end up under the staff's own trees: amen or nah?
• The church benevolence fund only ever seems to help the pastor's relatives: amen or nah?
• Your pastor expenses weekly lobster dinners as "pastoral care": amen or nah?
• The pastor's dog has its own line item in the church budget: amen or nah?
• The pastor's office has a private elevator, a sauna and a walk-in closet: amen or nah?
• Your pastor sits on a gold throne with their initials on it during worship: amen or nah?
• A staffer gets fired for liking a critic's Facebook post: amen or nah?
• Your church says a staffer was "called elsewhere" hours after firing them: amen or nah?
• The pastor has to approve members' job changes, moves and big purchases: amen or nah?
• The church keeps a secret spreadsheet ranking members by loyalty: amen or nah?
• The church app tracks your location to see if you visit a rival church: amen or nah?
• Your pastor subtweets one member for 40 minutes while they sit in row three: amen or nah?
• In a church of 35 people, the pastor's family holds every leadership role: amen or nah?
• Your pastor rewrites the bylaws so they can never be voted out: amen or nah?
• The church votes the pastor out, and the pastor changes the locks: amen or nah?
• Your pastor leaves for a bigger church and takes the sound system along: amen or nah?
• Your pastor quits, takes the member list, and starts a church next door: amen or nah?
• The "spontaneous" tears at the altar call are on the run sheet, timestamped: amen or nah?
• Your church plants staff in the crowd to walk forward first at the altar call: amen or nah?
• Your church counts the summer splash pad party as 300 baptisms: amen or nah?
• The worship leader's "original" song is a pop hit with "baby" changed to "Lord": amen or nah?
• Your pastor's new book is mostly copied from a stranger's old blog: amen or nah?
• Your pastor trademarks a church catchphrase and sues churches that use it: amen or nah?
• The TV prayer line keeps you on hold until you read out a card number: amen or nah?
• The livestream chat is full of "Amen!": amen or nah?
• Your church's "record crowd" photo is from a country music festival: amen or nah?
• Your pastor's mission trip photos were shot in front of a green screen: amen or nah?
• The church Venmo turns out to be the pastor's personal account: amen or nah?
• Parish bingo night quietly becomes a high-stakes poker game in the rectory: amen or nah?
• The parish festival raffle is rigged so the monsignor's nephew wins the truck: amen or nah?
• The church sells the same cemetery plot to two different families: amen or nah?
• The church pays rent to the pastor, who owns the building through an LLC: amen or nah?
• The pastor's brother-in-law gets paid $90,000 to paint one hallway: amen or nah?
• Your pastor adds their name to every worship team song to collect royalties: amen or nah?
• Your pastor sells the congregation a $1,000 course on "Kingdom wealth": amen or nah?
• Church membership now comes in Silver, Gold and Platinum tiers: amen or nah?
• Your church charges a $20 cover at the door for Christmas Eve service: amen or nah?
• The first-time visitor card asks for your annual income: amen or nah?
• Your church sends unpaid building pledges to a collection agency: amen or nah?
• The church newsletter lists every member who gave nothing last year: amen or nah?
• The ministry internship is mostly detailing the pastor's cars: amen or nah?
• Church staff write fake five-star Google reviews of the Sunday service: amen or nah?
• Your pastor preaches against debt while the church owes $40 million: amen or nah?
• Your pastor calls a 21-day fast and is spotted at a steakhouse on day two: amen or nah?
• Your church bans alcohol for members while the pastor keeps a wine cellar: amen or nah?
• The couple headlining the marriage retreat has been separated for a year: amen or nah?
• "Anonymous" giving records get emailed to the pastor every Monday: amen or nah?
• Your pastor uses a member's private counseling session as a sermon story: amen or nah?
• Your pastor retires with a lifetime salary, a corner office and a statue: amen or nah?
• The pastor's portrait in the lobby is bigger than the cross: amen or nah?
• The pastor's kids get baptized in Jordan River water: amen or nah?
• The online prayer team is one intern pasting the same prayer to everyone: amen or nah?
• An AI clone of the pastor preaches while the real one is on vacation: amen or nah?
• The church website lists a celebrity as a member: amen or nah?
• The pastor's "medical leave" is a month of jet skiing in Cabo: amen or nah?
• The church van drives Uber all week, and the pastor keeps the fares: amen or nah?
• Your church sells its member list to a timeshare company: amen or nah?
• Your pastor gets a kickback from every vendor on the church's wedding list: amen or nah?
• A member's surgery love offering raises $12,000: amen or nah?
• Your pastor sells $9,000 Holy Land tours and pockets a cut of every seat: amen or nah?
• The conference's $2,500 VIP pass includes a hug from the pastor: amen or nah?
• The deacons vote to fire the pastor while the pastor is on vacation: amen or nah?
• Two pastors book each other as guest speakers and swap $20,000 honorariums: amen or nah?
• Your pastor raises $40,000 for a prayer walk, then does it in a golf cart: amen or nah?
• The visiting prophet "prophesies" your exact salary as your seed offering: amen or nah?
• Your pastor autographs Bibles on the cover, right under the word "Holy": amen or nah?
• Your church charges $200 to transfer your membership letter: amen or nah?
• Members who stop giving get quietly deleted from the church directory: amen or nah?
• Your church refuses to host a member's funeral because they stopped tithing: amen or nah?
• The church lobby has a small-loan kiosk so you can tithe today: amen or nah?
• Your pastor gets a bonus for every baptism, like a sales commission: amen or nah?
• Church staff have 10% of every paycheck withheld as their tithe: amen or nah?
• Your church calls its full-time worship leader a "volunteer" to avoid paying: amen or nah?
• The church's "prayer retreat center" is the pastor's third vacation home: amen or nah?
• The pastor's discretionary fund has no limit and needs no receipts: amen or nah?
• The church audit is done by the pastor's nephew, a real estate agent: amen or nah?
• Your church refuses an outside audit because it "shows a lack of faith": amen or nah?
• The church's annual financial report is one slide that says "God provided": amen or nah?
• The budget vote is held at 6 a.m: amen or nah?
• Your church counts every "no" vote at the members' meeting as an abstention: amen or nah?
• Your church holds a mortgage burning for a mortgage it hasn't paid off: amen or nah?
• The "real member" testimonies in the church video are paid actors: amen or nah?
• Your church sues its next-door neighbor during the "Love Your Neighbor" series: amen or nah?
• Leaving members must sign a non-compete: no other church within 10 miles: amen or nah?
• Small group leaders file weekly reports to the pastor on what members share: amen or nah?
• Your pastor says their $40,000 watch is a reminder that "time is short": amen or nah?
• The church gets a $2 million LED wall while the roof leaks on the choir: amen or nah?
• A 40-member country church spends its savings on a jumbotron: amen or nah?
• Your pastor lands a helicopter on the church lawn for an Easter entrance: amen or nah?
• The Christmas pageant has live camels and costs more than the missions budget: amen or nah?